Harbhajan Singh has asked his fans to put up such posters all around Vijay Mallyaâ s houses and offices to scare the man who dared to mock him
Harbhajan Singh has asked his fans to put up such posters all around Vijay Mallyaâ s houses and offices to scare the man who dared to mock him


By Rahul Roushan


Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.


After suing Vijay Mallya’s UB Group for making fun of him in a TV ad, Harbhajan Singh has sent a legal notice to Deepika Padukone, an unattached member of the Mallya family, for making fun of his cricketing talents by referring Siddharth Mallya as “doosara”. Doosara, or ‘the other one’, is the name given to the googly bowled by the Indian off-spinner and is considered to be his most deadly weapon.


“Bhajji was very hurt by the media reports about Siddharth Mallya being called ‘doosara’ by Deepika Padukone. This clearly shows an organized and concerted attempt by the alcoholic family to mock and malign the reputation of my client after showing him in a poor light in a television ad earlier,” Arindam Chopra, lawyer of the Indian off-spinner told Faking News.


The legal notice sent to Deepika Padukone asks the Bollywood damsel to explain her choice of words while addressing her boyfriend. The notice charges Deepika with a malicious intent aimed at mocking Harbhajan Singh’s tried and tested cricketing trick by comparing it with Siddharth Mallya, who is yet to prove his effectiveness.


Harbhajan’s lawyer informed that in absence of any credible explanation by Deepika Padukone, he would be forced to file a lawsuit against the actress, charging her with defamation and for causing mental harassment to the cricketer. Deepika has been given three weeks to draft her reply.


“It can’t be just another nickname given by a girlfriend to her beau,” Arindam claimed, “The word ‘doosara’ has a special significance and is synonymous with Harbhajan Singh. It’s like the word ‘behenji’, which is synonymous with Mayawati. Do you think any brother would address his elder sister as ‘behenji’ next month on Rakhi?”


With a confident and celebratory smirk, Arindam claims that Deepika will have “tough time” explaining her conduct.


“A doosara swings the other way than expected, so does she mean that Siddharth swings both ways?” Arindam threw a poser, “She can’t claim that doosara means ‘the second one’ in her dictionary. Then who is ‘the first one’? Ranbir Kappor? Court will not buy that argument as that doesn’t account for Yuvraaj Singh.”


Faking News tried to reach Deepika for a comment, but her answering machine asked us to contact her on her ‘doosara’ number.


(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” He is the Managing Editor of www.fakingnews.com from where the above article has been sourced with permission)