By UnReal Mama

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

Thousands of viewers across the country had to be hospitalized after the IPL 6 opening ceremony, which one commentator, Greatbong, described as an assault on the senses. Even as viewers slumped in their seats, numbed into mental paralysis by the tackiness of it all, electric shocks had to be administered to revive cognitive activity, tweeted Jhunjhunwala. Not surprisingly, the organisers had to face the full wrath of Arnab Goswami within no time.

The inevitable political fallout ensued, with Didi jumping to the most obvious conclusion:

The political shoot-out brought some comical relief to convalescing viewers:

Soon, the geo-political issues surrounding IPL caught up with the opening ceremony:

Unable to take it anymore, even an otherwise reticent PM Singh vented his frustration quite vocally on The Unreal Times wall (yes, it was that bad), while there was a mini-rebellion by IPL hosts.

A few political leaders, much chastened by the mind-numbing experience, reassessed their priorities.

However, a few positives did emerge from the carnage:

Indeed, we can safely say that in the end, only Shastri and Sajid were the winners from this turkey. One minor revelation to our readers (not that it matters much):

And for those yet to recover from watching yesterday’s opening ceremony, remember that it could have been a lot worse:

(“Unreal Mama” is the pen name under which CS Krishna (left) and Karthik Laxman (right), the founding editors of The Unreal Times (, write fictional news reports, dressing room conversations and other such articles marrying humour with satire. The Unreal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal. The above spoof has inputs from Unreal Times columnist Ajayendar Reddy)