Mitchell Johnson retires; Sourav Ganguly, Brian Lara and others mull over retirement from Cricket All-Stars

Ganguly had a genuine weakness against short-pitched bowling even in his heydays and at 43 and post seven years of international retirement; he isn’t willing to face Johnson at all.

When you are out of your national side, you have the lucrative T20 leagues to play in and now even after retirement, players can still mint money playing in Cricket All-Stars series and Masters Cricket League (MCL). On Tuesday, Mitchell Johnson announced his retirement and this news has sent terrors in the Cricket All-Stars camp. Why not? As per the gossip mills Johnson, who has been smacked all around by Ross Taylor and Kane Williamson in his last Test at Perth, is looking forward to hunt some heads, as it has been a while. He called up Shane Warne expressing his desire to join the Cricket All-Stars. Read more on Mitchell Johnson’s retirement

Former Indian captain and Cricket Association of Bengal (CAB) President Sourav Ganguly , who plays for Sachin’s Blasters in the Cricket All-Stars, was seen watching videos of Johnson’s exploits from the Ashes 2013-14. Ganguly, who smacked a half-century for Blasters in the last game at Los Angeles, looked concerned and so did Brian Lara who said his fellow left-hander, “Not fair Dada, I retired eight years before he did.”

Ganguly had a genuine weakness against short-pitched bowling even in his heydays and at 43 and post seven years of international retirement; he isn’t willing to face Johnson at all. It’s in fact same with all the batters in Cricket All-Stars, who had a gala time smacking a 52-year-old Curtly Ambrose and 53-year-old Courtney Walsh all over the park.

Our sources within the camp revealed that Ganguly had called up a Team Blasters meeting with some of its members in a flight about which VVS Laxman had also tweeted.

With @SGanguly99 @virendersehwag @MahelaJay &Murali on our flight from LA 2 Dubai.Any idea what we were discussing? pic.twitter.com/2G1sBaU9su

— VVS Laxman (@VVSLaxman281) November 18, 2015

We bring you some excerpts from the meeting:

Mahela Jayawardene: “Look, I am no Sanga and mind you I retired from Tests before him. You all can’t expect me to handle Mitch alone.”

VVS Laxman: “Agreed that I liked to hunt down the Aussie bowlers but that was at my peak. I am a family man and won’t risk my life.”

Virender Sehwag: “I can easily hit him for fours and sixes, like I do to him in the Kings XI nets but the only reason I don’t like him is because he doesn’t give me the extra time to sing…”

Sehwag had to be interrupted and Murali chipped in. But why? He is a bowler after all.

Muttiah Muralitharan: “Looking at my side’s batsmen’s morale I think I should retire too. If Mitch hunts you guys early then I will have to be out in the middle, facing him! No, that’s not fair.”

Ganguly, who was presiding the meeting, decided to conclude it.

Ganguly: “Agreed gentlemen! It’s a known fact that Warne has never liked me and he will unleash Mitch on me. We need to talk to Sachin [Tendulkar] and ensure either Mitch plays for Blasters or we retire in peace.”

Tendulkar too is a worried man and knows that facing Johnson is a different challenge than a 49-year-old Allan Donald. He is all set to convince the moustached pacer to play for him reminding him of the happy old days they spent at the Mumbai Indians camp together.

Meanwhile, there is panic in Warne’s Warriors’ camp too. Former England captain and Warriors opener Michael Vaughan has put forward a condition to Warne that he will retire if Johnson plays for Blasters. Vaughan knows how much hatred Johnson has for the Englishmen. Vaughan was overheard, “I am better off with the mic in hand.”

Well, the tussle over Johnson is set to intensify in coming days and expect retired players retiring once again from their beloved sport.

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

(Suvajit Mustafi consumes cricket for lunch, fiction for dinner and munches numerous other snacks throughout the day. Yes, a jack of several trades, all Suvajit dreamt of was being India’s World Cup winning skipper but ended up being a sports writer, author, screenwriter, director, copywriter, graphic designer, sportsmarketer , strategist, entrepreneur,  philosopher and traveller. Donning so many hats, it’s cricket which gives him the ultimate high and where he finds solace. He can be followed at @RibsGully and rivu7)

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