MS Dhoni makes stunning revelation ahead of RPS-MI IPL 9 clash; to take up full-time bowling

India s limited-overs captain MS Dhoni, who is currently leading the charge for Rising Pune Supergiants (RPS) in Indian Premier League (IPL) season 9, has made a sensational revelation ahead of his team s all-important game against the Mumbai Indians (MI) here on Sunday. Dhoni, who has had a love-hate relationship with the media of late, told a packed press conference in Pune that he has decided to take up full-time bowling after repeated failures of his bowling attacks. The beleaguered skipper, who for the first-time faces the possibility of not qualifying for the IPL playoffs, has decided to take matters in his hands now.

Addressing the media on the eve of the big match which RPS need to win at any cost to stay alive in the tournament, Dhoni said that he is tired of the shoddy performance his bowlers put up match after match. And hence, he has decided to start bowling now. Look, we failed to defend 195 the other day. With the kind of bowlers I have at my disposal, even 300 is insufficient in T20s. I don t have a (Ashish) Nehra or a (Jasprit) Bumrah in IPL, and with Ishant (Sharma) and (Ashoke) Dinda, it will be better off if I start bowling. Also this way, I can also continue with my customary statement We are playing with the same squad . After too much chopping and changing (RP Singh, Mitchell Marsh, Irfan Pathan, Ishant, Dinda, Ankit Sharma), I was missing it. But yes, I can proudly keep it now, Dhoni said.

When a journalist asked him whether he has the fitness and stamina to bowl at 34, Dhoni invited the journo to come and sit next to him. Here s what transpired next:

Dhoni: Come, sit next to me. Let s have some fun. Please come here. Come, come, come…seriously! Yeah, come! Do you think I can t bowl?

Journo: No. That’s what I asked you.

Dhoni: I can’t really say if you have a brother or a son who can bowl for RPS. Do you think I am unfit?

Journo: No.

Dhoni: You have seen me running?

Journo: Very fast.

Dhoni: Do you think I can survive till the 2019 IPL?

Journo: Yes, sure.

Dhoni: Then you have answered the question. Thank you, sir!

With this new found chutzpah, it will be interesting to see how Dhoni goes about his bowling. A source close to the skipper told on the condition of anonymity that so obsessed is the skipper with bowling these days that he apparently asked his team s other batsmen to take up bowling too. The result, he said, is for all to see. Kevin Pietersen left the IPL mid-way with an injury but is busy playing golf while Faf du Plessis also left RPS abruptly.

Nothing to add.

Please note this is a humour article work of pure fiction

(A self-confessed cricket freak, Chinmay Jawalekar is a senior writer with CricLife and CricketCountry. When not writing or following cricket, he loves to read, eat and sleep. He can be followed here @CricfreakTweets)