Pak engineer invents self-exploding TV that destroys itself whenever India beats Pakistan

Imran Ahmed, a Pakistani engineer who would otherwise have embarked on a career in bomb-making for the Good Taliban, turned entrepreneur by inventing a Television set that automatically explodes whenever India beats Pakistan in a World Cup match.

“This is terrific,” said a Pakistani cricket fan who pilot-tested the model. “We watched a re-run of the match yesterday, and sure enough, the moment Dhoni hit the winning runs, the TV burst into flames, and within minutes reduced to smoking rubble. It works perfectly!”

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Imran’s TV has already received queries from over a thousand interested Pakistani cricket fans. “It’s a brilliant invention,” said another Pakistani cricket fan. “It is energy-efficient and safe. Next time, I don’t have to spend all that energy thrashing my TV to a pulp, and I won’t injure anyone else either like I did this time after the India-Pakistan match when I swung my bat and mistakenly hit my friend’s leg instead of the TV.”

Imran’s invention means that after the next India Pakistan World Cup match, both countries will light up in NASA’s nighttime images: India, because of all the firecrackers, and Pakistan, because of the exploding TVs.

Imran, meanwhile, is already working on an upgrade. “The next version of the TV will burst into flames and also click a selfie and post it onto a designated Facebook account with an appropriate caption. I am also working on a model which will self-destruct based on a predictive algorithm rather than after the very last ball. For instance, so many Pakistanis had started destroying their TV sets the moment MS Dhoni hit the six on the penultimate ball of the match. So my TV should realistically be able to self-destruct the moment when the match looks like a lost cause,” he said.

In other news, Pakistan’s loss to New Zealand yesterday went largely unnoticed in Pakistan, primarily because most households did not have TVs to watch the match on.

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

(Originally published in UnRealtimes, “Unreal Mama” is the pen name of CS Krishna & Karthik Laxman, founding editors of the site which is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal)