Revealed: Why Shahid Afridi made those “more loved in India” comments
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Such is the charisma of the man that everything he does and everything that he does not, becomes news. Yes, we are talking about Shahid Afridi who recently made headlines for his comments, “I’ve not enjoyed playing anywhere as much as I have in India. I am in the last stage of my career and I can say that the love I have got in India is something that I will always remember. We have not got this much love even from Pakistan.” Video: Javed Miandad lambasts Shahid Afridi’s ‘more loved in India’ comments

While, the cricket crazy Indian fans went berserk on Twitter, their Pakistani counterparts were heartbroken. Former cricketers like Javed Miandad lambasted him over these comments and why not, hasn’t Afridi been their favourite punching bag. The focus now shifts from politics to Afridi.

The writer called up Miandad to find out what was it that actually infuriated him. Speaking exclusively to the author, Miandad said, ”I have tried everything possible as a good Pakistani citizen to annoy India thinking it as our duty. I have hit them for a last ball-six, sledged them on field, tried to annoy them by jumping and have even established relations with Dawood Ibrahim! These comments by Shahid Afridi are totally naPak!”

However, the writer who was on a tour to Kolkata accidently met with Afridi, at the airport and enquired him on the real reasons behind these comments.

Afridi said, “Wasim bhai [Wasim Akram] the other day compared me to King Midas. He was a bloke who touched anything and that turned to gold and I touch anything and it becomes controversy but people do not understand the strategic part behind the comments (Now we know why he is the captain! He does understand strategy). Look, notwithstanding the jokes on my youthfulness doing the rounds, I am not getting any younger. I have to look for alternative options after I retire playing for Pakistan. Till the time Kanhaiya Kumar doesn’t become the PM of India, I don’t think Pakistani cricketers have any chance of playing IPL and making money.

But I could make a good career if your local sports channel offer me a contract for Hindi commentary. You all know by now that my command over Hindi is exceptional and I use that even while conversing in English.

I even enjoy the Ranji Trophy commentary by Vivek Razdan and Rohan Gavaskar. I can do a better job than Rameez bhai [Rameez Raja] and Shoaib Akhtar! I make as random statements as possible to match their standards.”

It took us time to publish this for multiple reasons. First I was moved by his retirement plans and secondly, the three paras had to be decoded from Urdu to Hindi and then to English, for the sake of our readers.

Do not be surprised if the same man goes back to Pakistan and makes a statement that he his fellow countrymen have larger hearts than Indians.

Now let us see if Shahid Afridi manages to bag the job of Hindi commentator for the leading sports channel but before that will his team be able to beat India in the group stage of ICC World T20 2016? More fears in store as Bangladesh have also qualified for the round of 10 and are in the same group. Amen!

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

[Devashish Palkar, an MBBS student, A sports afficionado, news addict and a patient of OCSD ( Obsessive Compulsive Satirical Disorder)].