Subramanian Swamy, Rajdeep Sardesai and others rate India’s probable for the ICC 2015 World Cup

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

 

The recently released list of 30 probables for World Cup 2015 squad raised a lot of eyebrows after big names such as Yuvraj Singh, Zaheer Khan, Gautam Gambhir, Harbhajan Singh, Virender Sehwag and Ashish Nehra were excluded. The list however, has also drawn praise for the infusion of young blood and fresh energy.

 

How did India’s politicians, journalists and other celebrities rate the list of probables? The UnReal Times correspondent Harsha Dhoble brings you the exclusive rating sheets:

 

Sagarika Ghose Azam Khan Subramanian Swamy Rajdeep Sardesai
1. M S Dhoni x x x
2. Shikhar Dhawan x x x
3. Rohit Sharma x x
4. Ajinkya Rahane x x x
5. Robin Uthappa x TBD x
6. Virat Kohli x x x
7. Suresh Raina x x
8. Ambati Rayudu x x x
9. Kedar Jadhav x x
10. Manoj Tiwary x x
11. Manish Pandey x x
12. Wriddhiman Saha x x x
13. Sanju Samson x TBD x
14. R Ashwin x x
15. Parvez Rasool TBD x
16. Karn Sharma x x
17. Amit Mishra x x
18. Ravindra Jadeja x x x
19. Axar Patel x x x
20. Ishant Sharma x x
21. Bhuvneshwar Kumar x x x
22. Mohammad Shami TBD x
23. Umesh Yadav x x
24. Varun Aaron x TBD x
25. Dhawal Kulkarni x x
26. Stuart Binny x TBD x
27. Mohit Sharma x x
28. Ashoke Dinda x x x
29. Kuldeep Yadav x x
30. Murali Vijay x x

Notes:
(Swamy): TBD will be changed to ✓ once players accept Hindu ancestry.
(Rajdeep): No GSBs 🙁 But it’s okay, at least some Bs!

 

Sadhvi Jyoti Omar Abdullah Smriti Irani N Srinivasan Rahul Gandhi
1. M S Dhoni R x  Will be filled
2. Shikhar Dhawan R x  after x
3. Rohit Sharma R x  consulting x
4. Ajinkya Rahane R x  astrologer x
5. Robin Uthappa <censored> x x
6. Virat Kohli R x x
7. Suresh Raina R x
8. Ambati Rayudu R x x
9. Kedar Jadhav R x x
10. Manoj Tiwary R x x
11. Manish Pandey R x x
12. Wriddhiman Saha R x
13. Sanju Samson <censored> x x
14. R Ashwin R x  Will be filled
15. Parvez Rasool <censored>  after x
16. Karn Sharma R x  consulting x
17. Amit Mishra R x  astrologer x
18. Ravindra Jadeja R x
19. Axar Patel R x x
20. Ishant Sharma R x x
21. Bhuvneshwar Kumar R x x
22. Mohammad Shami <censored> x x
23. Umesh Yadav R x x
24. Varun Aaron <censored> x x
25. Dhawal Kulkarni R x x
26. Stuart Binny <censored> x x
27. Mohit Sharma R x  Will be filled
28. Ashoke Dinda R x  after x
29. Kuldeep Yadav R x  consulting x
30. Murali Vijay R x  astrologer

(Ashwin Kumar is a humorist with www.theunrealtimes.com where this article was originally published. The UnReal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal)