West Indies accuse Pakistan of using performance enhancing substances!

By The Flying Freak

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

Add Cricket Country as a Preferred Source

The West Indies team management has accused the Pakistan team on Sunday night of using performance enhancing substances to better their collapse in the third One-Day International (ODI) at Abu Dhabi. West Indies claimed that they had worked her to compete with Pakistan by scripting a better collapse in the second ODI at Delhi. However, Pakistan have once again wrestled control of the ‘most shocking performance’ tag thanks to the one-run loss.

“This is unfair, the ICC needs to investigate the matter. How can a team not score two runs off the last over with a part-time off-spinner bowling? We can accept someone losing eight wickets for 55 runs but this kind of performance takes not just the cherry but the whole bakery itself,” said a senior West Indian player.

[read-also] 198518 [/read-also]

West Indies and Pakistan are engrossed in a grueling battle of presenting the most abysmal ODI performance. To challenge Pakistan losing eight for 56, West Indies bettered it by losing eight wickets for 46 runs. But Pakistan took the contest to an all new level when they lost two wickets and played out a maiden in the last over of the innings needing just two runs to win.

Performance-enhancing substances have been a menace for the sport since a long time. However, they are normally used to improve the performance of an athlete. Ironically, in this case, the West Indies feel that Pakistan’s obsession with scripting ridiculous losses has led them to getting in to extreme measures to attain the end result. However, this argument is yet to convince the International Cricket Council (ICC) completely.

An official from ICC on condition of anonymity has said that the West Indies team is just having a shot in the dark by making such claims. “The way Pakistan play, some of their losses are ridiculous. If we keep investigating such shocking performances all the time then maybe Umar Akmal would have been barred from even second division cricket in Pakistan. Also, the Pakistan team itself is famous for dishing out such performances time and again. So it’s tough to examine such claims,” said the official.

Tired of being railroaded for fixing, tampering in the past and now plagued with chucking, the Pakistan Cricket Board has refused to comment on the matter saying that they hardly enough officials to handle controversies.

But the West Indians are not planning to let go off this humiliation easily. They have vowed to come back hard at Pakistan when they face India in the Tests. “See how we collapse when the Indians throw us in to dustbowls. Once we start finishing our matches in three days and better your Test performances, don’t be surprised when someone holds a placard YEA PAK TALK NAH,” said the furious West Indies player.

Complete coverage of India vs West Indies 2014

Complete coverage of Pakistan and Australia in UAE

(The Flying Freak eats, lives, drinks cricket, but likes to mix up the sport with everything. An aspiring vocalist, he is aiming to win the Ghanta Awards soon.)