When Indian Cricket Commentators began reviewing Game of Thrones

It doesn’t matter if you are browsing for latest news on Trump-Clinton race for Presidency or the hottest fashion trends in Mumbai, you can never escape the spoilers from latest episodes of Game of Thrones. Be it amateur critics or the book buffs, everyone is trying to guess the story line, now that the TV series has overtaken the books. Seriously considering the ‘Make in India’ campaign, our cricket commentators do not want this valuable opportunity to pass them by.

Our ‘little birds’ network has reported a few hushed discussions between Indian commentators thinking of jumping in to the bandwagon of reviewing the GoT episodes. One bird overheard Ravi Shastri saying , “It’s not like I need to create new idioms and phrases for the review… ‘flashes and flashes hard’; ‘all three results are possible’ can still be used!” Agreeing with him, Sunil Gavaskar said, “If you think hard, it is not much different from our post-match analysis really. You just need to over analyse every expression on the characters’ faces and produce a clipping from the series to match a quote from the book for authenticity. It’s not like Georgie boy is going to slam us for unrealistic inferences like Khal Drogo might come back!”

Dravid on the other had vehemently opposed the direction of other commentators’ thoughts. He felt that the conservative spirit of the series is being tarnished as torrents are being made available within 5 hours of the show being telecast and Indian viewers are not bothered enough to either pay for HBO online or Star World Premier HD channel to watch it legally. If the Indian commentators jumped ship to critic review, Dravid said, “it would mean aiding and abetting piracy. I would remain The Wall and oppose piracy”

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In another hushed discussion between Arun Lal and Manjrekar, the former lamented, “It was with great difficulty that I mastered the names of Mpumelelo Mbangwa, Faf du Plessis, Kapila Wijegunawardene but if the vasool is omre with Daenerys Targaryen, Margaery Tyrell and Cersei Lannister then so be it. I just got to say, the names give Ajay Devgn and Viveik Oberoi a run for their money in terms of spelling!” Manjrekar had an altogether different opinion to give. “I would rather do Agents of Shield than GoT…. I could write about how Indians have been completely denied a role in the Marvel series while every other nation has been represented by at least 1 character.” Our little bird says that he felt most disturbed that even aliens got a fair share of screen time!

On the other hand, rubbishing claims that he would not make a good critic, Harsha Bhogle said that he has been a successful cricket commentator despite never having played a First-Class match so what does it matter if he took up GoT reviews as a hobby for now and then may be sign a permanent contract with George Martin to help him remember every character he has created so far and throw in a few statistics in the mix for sheer pleasure of it!

Meanwhile, we are waiting for Amitabh Bachchan to lament the lack of Indian characters in the series.

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

(Reported by Citizen Satirist Lakshmi Sriram. The above article was Originally published in UnRealtimes)