After CSK's Gurunath Meiyappan, King’s XI owner Preity Zinta could be arrested!

Preity Zinta © Getty Images

By UnReal Mama

Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction 
 
After Chennai Super Kings (CSK) owner Gurunath Meiyappan’s arrest for links with bookies, it is the turn of another India Premier League (IPL) owner, Preity Zinta, to face the heat of the Mumbai police. The dimpled Bollywood star and Kings XI boss has been summoned by the crime branch in Mumbai for producing in and starring in the ultra-corny chick-flick, Ishkq in Paris (yes, there is a silent ‘K’ in it. That is also to be investigated — editor).

Confirming as much, Mumbai police chief, Himanshu Roy, said they became suspicious after Ishq in Paris began to trend on trend on Twitter just below ‘Gurunath Meiyappan’. “We clicked on the trend and realised that something was amiss after coming across jokes such as ‘Preity Zinta’s expression in Ishq in Paris are like a person showing sudden signs of improvement after a fortnight of constipated stomach,’  ‘Gurunath Meiyappan agrees to talk to Mumbai Police after they threaten to show him Ishq In Paris” — a film which Preity has produced, scripted and acted.

“Our suspicions were confirmed when we began to read scathing reviews and pieced together the movie’s scatter-brained plot. We then immediately dispatched a team to Preity’s house to interrogate her for the motives behind inflicting this disaster on the public,” disclosed Mr. Roy. He was quick to clarify that his team has not seen the movie and don’t intend to do so as part of their investigations.

The Mumbai police now have a series of questions lined up for the Kings XI Punjab owner:

  • Why is there a ‘k’ in ‘Ishkq in Paris’ and how should it be pronounced?
  • Why the hell is Zinta sharing screen space with a guy half her age?
  • And who is this guy anyway? Was he picked up at the airport check-in at the last minute after losing the real hero at customs?
  • How come Preity has so much money to burn that she produces turkeys like this? Does she think producing a movie is akin to owning an IPL team?
  • How much botox went into the making of the movie?
     

However, Preity was not at home when the Mumbai police landed up at her residence. The authorities have now given her time till 5.00 pm tomorrow to present herself at the police headquarters and answer their queries.

Preity is not taking any chances and is assembling a team of legal experts before her impending interrogation by the law enforcement agencies. Sources told The Unreal Times that Preity’s arrest is imminent because not only did she produce and star in the movie but also took credit for the movie’s dialogue, plot and screenplay as well.

Meanwhile, an official spokesperson for Kings XI Punjab has distanced the IPL team from the movie. “The Kings XI team management has nothing to do whatsoever with this movie which Preity produced in her individual capacity. The team remains focused on playing good cricket and making the play-offs or at least not ending up with the wooden spoon in next year’s IPL, assuming it is still there,” the spokesperson read out from a statement.

(Originally published in www.theunrealtimes.com“Unreal Mama” is the pen name of CS Krishna & Karthik Laxman, founding editors of the site which is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal. The above spoof is based on tweets by @samitbas , @Ra_Bie s, @rogueacademic88, @KoschanMark