In an extraordinary development in the Vijay Mallya case, India’s Finance Minister, Mr. Arun Jaitley, on Thursday ordered the forfeiture of Vijay Mallya’s costliest asset, Chris Gayle, who plays for Royal Challengers Bangalore in the IPL.
Talking about his smart move, Mr. Jaitley said, “I was watching the Jamaican giant marauding the poor English bowlers out of the park last night and just had this million dollar thought. Over the last few days, we have been wondering what to do about the Vijay Mallya case. I was even considering a special 0.5% tax to recover the losses due to Vijay Mallya. Then I had this idea! We are hoping that forfeiture of Chris Gayle should help us make a rapid recovery of the deficit. Every team wants to have Chris Gayle in their side right now. We are thinking of auctioning Chris Gayle for the upcoming IPL and we are hoping to make a lot of profit!”
However, this move has not gone down too well with the opposition. Delhi CM, Arvind Kejriwal said, “Yehi to scam hai ji! This is just like the Delhi District Cricket Association scam orchestrated by Arun Jaitley.”
Asaduddin Owaisi took up the issue in Lok Sabha. “Chris Gayle wears a bandana while batting which resembles our skull cap and therefore Chris Gayle should be transferred to my city based franchise, Sunrisers Hyderabad,” he shouted. At this Javed Akhtar hit back, “I am a Muslim and I don’t wear a topi!” and followed it up with slogans of “Bharat Mata ki jay!” just to annoy Owaisi further.
Chris Gayle, meanwhile, was unperturbed with this development. “Sweet Azz! If I get beer as good as what Vijay Mallya used to serve me after every match, I am ready to entertain anywhere on this planet!” he said. AB De Villiers however was seen praying to God to prolong his bad form with the bat until Vijay Malya case gets resolved.
Elsewhere, Deepika Padukone sat in her home, worried that she might be next on Arun Jaitley’s list as she also shot to fame thanks to the Kingfisher calendar girls photo shoot.
Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction
[Devashish Palkar, an MBBS student, A sports afficionado, news addict and a patient of OCSD ( Obsessive Compulsive Satirical Disorder)].
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