BCCI Master Plan: Indian team to carry own pitches for overseas tours


By Anshul Gupta

Mumbai: January 26, 2012


The Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) finally seems to have come up with a solution to counter the series of poor performances of Indian team during the overseas tours, especially in England, Australia and South Africa.

“There is nothing wrong with the Indian team, not even Duncan Fletcher,” Mr. N Srinivasan, President of the BCCI told Faking News, “The blame lies with foreign pitches that are not up to the standards of our players. Therefore, the BCCI has passed a unilateral resolution with immediate effect under which Indian team will carry its own pitches for all future foreign tours.”

Srinivasan denied that the unilateral decision was taken as BCCI had monetary clout over the ICC. “You can’t link everything to monetary clout. When our team can carry their own batting kits, coach, fitness trainer, etc., why can’t it carry its own pitches?” BCCI President justified the move.

Surprisingly, BCCI’s move has been supported by other foreign boards.

“It’s a fair deal; BCCI will pay us a hefty pitch-sustenance allowance. Additionally, they will also cover the cost of our curators and other ground staff. I think this should be a win-win situation to both parties,” James Sutherland, CEO of Cricket Australia said in an interview to Sydney Morning Herald.

Pakistan Cricket Board too has liked the idea and has decided to replicate it for their future home series in England. “We don’t exactly need home pitches on foreign tours, but the idea will help us when we play Australia in England next – it will be truly home series as Australia will be playing on Pakistani pitches.”

The Indian team, currently on a Test match losing spree in Australia, has welcomed this announcement. Indian skipper Mahendra Singh Dhoni, who is missing the fourth Test at Adelaide after losing the first three, welcomed the announcement.

“Well of course, it is a late but well-taken decision. Many of the current team members are brand ambassadors of real estate companies that can help the board with construction of the pitches on foreign tours,” he said.

BCCI is yet to take a decision on whom to involve for carrying and installing pitches overseas. However, they have started shortlisting pitches. Spin-friendly tracks such as Eden Gardens and Feroz Shah Kotla are likely to be favored over relatively bouncier tracks such as Mohali.

Unconfirmed sources suggest that the BCCI could ask some engineering students to work on a plan to study domestic pitches and make copies that could be carried overseas. Since China doesn’t play cricket yet, BCCI is banking upon students who copy rampantly in exams.

(Anshul Gupta is a fauji by schooling, an engineer by qualification with an MBA as another degree, a consultant by mistake and a banker by chance. Basically, reality sucks. Let’s fake! The above article is reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)