February, 2009. The venue was Premadasa Stadium, Colombo. Yuvraj Singh’s brilliance with the bat was cut short by a blunder from local umpire Gamini Silva. The southpaw had edged one to his pad, but Gamini ruled him out for 66. India managed to win the game by 15 runs, but Gamini struck again in the next match and ruled Sachin Tendulkar leg-before for 7. The ball was clearly sliding down the leg. Indian fans got to relive the days of Asoka de Silva days.
Had it been Pakistan instead of India, some cleric would have surely issued a fatwa against Gamini. Bullied in school for his feminine and unusual first name, then a below average stint in First-Class cricket, then years as a cop with Sri Lankan police, a civil war veteran and now a failed umpire, Gamini’s Monster.com (yes, he was caught in a wrong job) moment finally came when he became the curator at Sher-e-Bangla Stadium in Mirpur, Dhaka. Or he thought so. READ: Pick of the tweets: Asia Cup 2016 Final, India vs Bangladesh at Mirpur
Unfortunately, Gamini has been fired by Bangladesh Cricket Board (BCB) after the home side lost to India in the Asia Cup T20 Final. Why? While the world went gaga over Gamini for creating excellent facilities at Mirpur and especially the drainage system, which can be easily compared to the best in the world, BCB officials were not pleased.
The writer caught up with a BCB official, who on condition of anonymity said: “From Mustafa Kamal to all other administrators, we are first of all ardent and sane Bangladesh fans. Gamini’s vision for our great regressive nation is not correct. How dare he prepare a ground that could soak water so fast despite the heavy rains? Had the match been called off we could have shared the Asia Cup.”
Citing the example of Eden Gardens in Kolkata, he added, “Kolkata is so near to us and look what happens. Even a drizzle is good enough to abandon games. If West Bengal can, why can’t East Bengal?”
When the writer decided to share these shocking comments on social media, a million Bangladeshis (or let’s say the internet penetration of the country) liked and shared the sentiment and one of the shares happened to be from West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee, who, according to several reports has been in a state of depression since Bangladesh’s loss. The state Government may soon issue a million Adhar cards to sympathise with the neighbours.
Coming to Gamini, in an interview with Hindustan Times in 2014, had said, “I had travelled to Bangladesh as an umpire. I really loved the place. So, while looking for a curator job, I chose Bangladesh over Sri Lanka. My contract ends in July but I hope to get it renewed as I want to settle down here.”
You read it right. I re-type, he “loved the place”. And for the first time, a foreigner has applied for Bangladeshi citizenship. I guess Gamini will have to wait to settle down in his dream nation until he gains some proficiency with Photoshop skills, a major requirement for all contemporary Bangladeshi cricket fans.
Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction
(Suvajit Mustafi consumes cricket for lunch, fiction for dinner and munches numerous other snacks throughout the day. Yes, a jack of several trades, all Suvajit dreamt of was being India’s World Cup winning skipper but ended up being a sports writer, author, screenwriter, director, copywriter, graphic designer, sports marketer , strategist, entrepreneur, philosopher and traveller. Donning so many hats, it’s cricket which gives him the ultimate high and where he finds solace. He can be followed at @RibsGully and rivu7)
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