Published: Dec 15, 2012, 01:17 PM (IST)
Edited: Dec 15, 2012, 01:17 PM (IST)
Cricket fan Rohit Mishra is no longer afraid of doomsday December 21, 2012 © Faking News
Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.
Rohit Mishra, a diehard cricket fan, is more afraid about the possible ways in which Nagpur Test match can end on or before 17th December than the ways in which the world can end on 21st December as per the Mayan calendar.
“I am a superstitious person and I was shit scared when I saw the Hollywood movie 2012,” Rohit said, “In fact, I even saw some news reports on India TV and I thought the world could really end on December 21, 2012. I kept on thinking how humanity can save itself.”
“But I think we can save the follow on,” he straightaway jumped to cricket and clarified that now he was least bothered about the Mayan calendar.
“Dude, I have seen it all; India losing wickets to spinners, people openly talking against (Sachin) Tendulkar, and India wishing they had (Monty) Panesar,” he added, “I don’t care about doomsday now.”
Rohit, who used to get jolted out of his sleep due to nightmares about earth cracking up and his whole city getting buried inside as was shown in the movie, now gets nightmares about cracks appearing on the Nagpur pitch and India getting all out for a single digit in the second innings against England.
“I also saw (Alaistair) Cook hitting (Pragyan) Ojha for six sixes in an over, which caused Ojha to cry so profusely that the whole Indian team was drowned under water (tears),” Rohit recalled his latest nightmare that he had last night.
“The second part convinced me that it was a bad dream as no one cries so much,” he said.
Rohit further claimed that he tried to read a lot about doomsday, watched many horror clips about natural disasters on YouTube, but he failed to get his fears in the right place.
“I don’t know what awaits me when I wake up tomorrow,” he said, referring to the third day of the Nagpur Test.
(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” He is the Managing Editor of www.fakingnews.com from where the above article has been sourced with permission)
