Published: Mar 19, 2011, 09:00 AM (IST)
Edited: Mar 14, 2014, 05:53 PM (IST)
By David Green
Due to our recent sojourn back to the UK, we haven’t seen much World Cup action in the last ten days, but it is inexplicably clear that England are the most entertaining (if some distance from the best) side in the tournament.
Indeed, it would seem that unlike the other 13 teams battling it out on the subcontinent, England are the only side not trying to win the bloody World Cup.
England’s aims are much more noble:
1. Save ODI cricket
With T20 threatening to surpass and eventually replace its more sedate 50-over cousin, England seem to be on a one-team mission to save it from extinction. Whether it is squeezing past The Netherlands, sensationally tying with India, coming back from the dead against South Africa or snatching defeat from the jaws of victory against Ireland and Bangladesh, no cricket fan dare take their eyes off England in this World Cup. Who needs the IPL?
2. Save the Associate Nations from a World Cup cull
With Ricky Ponting stating his opposition to the presence of the Associates, Andrew Strauss and Andy Flower would appear to have not been able to resist yet another opportunity to wind up the hapless Australian skipper. In conceding 292 runs to The Netherlands and then allowing Ireland to reach a victory target of 329, England have shown up the ICC’s decision to cull the Associates from the next World Cup as an inept and foolhardy move. They even managed to make Canada look good in the warm-up before the tournament – and that takes some doing.
3. Make friends with David Attenborough
It’s a little-known fact that as well as being the world’s most foremost naturalist, David Attenborough is also a patron of the Optimum Population Trust (OPT) think-tank. The OPT believes that the population of the UK should be 20 million (rather than 60+ million) and argues that population growth represents a far bigger problem to the world than global warming (and they are not wrong there). Strauss and Flower obviously agree. The number of heart attack victims that must have resulted from the photo-finishes to each of England’s five matches thus far must now be touching 5 million. Another close finish against West Indies and Attenborough could be bringing out the bunting.
4. Be awarded the tag of “The Great Entertainers”
Let’s face it before the tournament started, no one would have had England down as the most flamboyant and exciting side. A Pakistan side always prone to self-destruction? Yes. India’s stellar batting line-up? Maybe. Australia’s all-out pace attack? Possibly. But surely not a normally steady and efficient England side containing the likes of Strauss, Jonathan Trott and Paul Collingwood in its batting line-up? It just goes to show how wrong you can be. England are now like the French rugby team – brilliant one minute, woeful the next. And who’d have thought that?
(David Green is the brain behind the irreverent The Reverse Sweep blog and also writes for a number of cricket publications and sites such as World Cricket Watch. You can follow him on Twitter also @TheReverseSweep. David was a decent schoolboy and club cricketer (and scored his maiden 100 the same week that Sachin Tendulkar scored his first Test ton) but not good enough to fulfil his childhood dream of emulating Douglas Jardine by winning the Ashes in Australia and annoying the locals into the bargain. He now lives with his wife and two young children in the South of France and will one day write the definitive biography of Hedley Verity)
