Diabolical. Absurd. Minefield. Crooked floor. Akhara. Baffling. Martian surface – These were the many such harsh words used by cricketing pundits and former greats for describing the Jamtha pitch which produced yet another three-day Test. With noise about the pitch’s unsporting nature refusing to die down, Vidharba Cricket Association pitch curator Mr Kishore Pradhan has revealed the real reasons for preparing such a dry pitch in an exclusive to The UnReal Times.
“Ravi Shastri had nothing to do with it,” Mr Pradhan said. “It’s just that we simply don’t have any water in these parts to make green, sporting pitches. Vidharba, as you all know, is in the grip of a severe drought with farmers committing suicide and all. Forget watering the pitch, we barely have water for drinking here. This so called diabolical pitch was more of a protest against the Maharashtra government which has been turning a blind eye to the water woes of the people of Vidharba. But unfortunately nobody got the connection between the cracks and the drought, not even Maharashtra Chief Minister Devendra Fadnavis. So I have decided to set the record straight,” an emotionally charged Mr Pradhan added.
Immediately after reading this news, Matthew Hayden, Glenn Maxwell and Michael Vaughan, who had earlier ridiculed the pitch, took back their comments and instead applauded the humanitarian efforts of the pitch curator. “Now those scary cracks make sense. Well done, mate #WearewithVidharba,” tweeted Matthew Hayden in support.
Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction
[Devashish Palkar, an MBBS student, A sports afficionado, news addict and a patient of OCSD ( Obsessive Compulsive Satirical Disorder). he above article was Originally published in UnRealtimes].
Written by 
