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Raj Thackeray Getty Images

What was supposed to be a usual day turned very unusual in Mumbai. Raj Thackeray and his MNS gang woke up late partying hard Wednesday night celebrating Donald Trump‘s victory. As a routine, he and his workers assembled outside major toll booths across highways in Mumbai and just when his workers were about to throw a stone at the window, someone informed Raj that the highway authorities were not charging toll tax following orders from the government for the purpose of easing the traffic. MNS were taken aback. Raj literally started crying and needed consoling from Uddhav Thackeray after he learnt that the only skill that his party workers had has now been snatched away by Prime Minister Narendra Modi. Full Cricket Scorecard: India vs England 1st Test at Rajkot.

Raj and his gang returned to MNS office and not knowing what to do, they switched on the TV set only to watch Moeen Ali batting and thrashing Indian bowlers. The camera immediately panned to the dressing room and there was Adil Rashid sitting alongside Zafar Ansari. The party, who watch Big Boss and Trump TV have no idea about the sides. They googled and found out that it was India playing England.

Reading the names: ‘Moeen Ali, Adil Rashid, Zafar Ansari and Haseeb Hameed‘, Raj figured out something was fishy about the whole thing. Enraged and smelling conspiracy, Raj immediately called for a press conference.

“We are going to Rajkot. We will stop this match. This is not India vs England. This is India vs Pakistan in disguise. Dear Pakistanis, we are not fools. This is a proxy war by Pakistan on cricket field. Last year, it was Imran Tahir who played for South Africa. And now these players are playing for Pakistan. I will not let this Test take place,” said the MNS statement.

MNS workers, who have once worked for Shiv Sena and take a lot of pride in knowing a thing or two about digging pitches, have already written to Hardik Patel‘s fans to take a leaf out of their book, ‘Art of disrupting cricket matches’.

MNS has announced that whoever throws ink on Moeen Ali’s face would get INR 50,000 cash reward and assured that he would provide all 100 rupees notes! Organisers are meanwhile hoping that at least this will help Rajkot attendance increase in the coming days.

Conspiracy theory

Meanwhile, Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal has blamed BCCI and BJP for all this. A member from the party was quoted as saying, “BCCI is the mastermind since England have already established an upper hand on the match and a defeat for India looks likely. If Indian batters do not play well on Day Three, BCCI has urged Raj to dig up the pitch so that the match ends in a draw. We all know who runs BCCI and he reports to Modi. Supreme Court should end all these evils.”


Please note this is a humour article work of pure fiction

[Dr. Devashish Palkar is a sports aficionado, news addict and a patient of OCSD ( Obsessive Compulsive Satirical Disorder)].