While the entire Bollywood and some prominent political leaders, mostly from the opposition party are busy criticising the government, Indian think-tank has come up with a novel way to use this meat ban in their favour. According to our sources, Indian cricket team support staff are requesting the government to keep the ban on meat for October as well as it is the month when Mahatma Gandhi was born. October 2, Gandhi Jayanti, also happens to be the date for the 1st T20 match between India and South Africa. The writer caught up with Ravi Shastri.
“Mahatma Gandhi was a hero in this part of the world and a proponent of vegetarianism. Keeping meat ban on October 2 will be just a small way of paying tribute to the great man. Also, the series has been named as Mahatma Gandhi- Nelson Mandela series. It would be ideal if we can have the meat ban for the entire series as both Gandhi and Mandela believed in non-violence. Killing of animals for meat is not what they loved! That’s what the doctor ordered”, said an elated Ravi Shastri, who has been given a longer run as the team director for India.
However, this proposal by Indian think-tank is a part of a bigger strategy. It is thwart the meat eating South Africans and AB de Villiers in particular.
Virat Kohli who shares the Royal Challengers Bangalore (RCB) dressing room with de Villiers during the IPL is thought to be the mastermind behind this evil plan. A source within the team overheard Kohli discussing with Shastri. Kohli is believed to have said, “People have tried to put various theories for the success of AB and to stop him but all have failed. My theory is that AB’s power lies with meat eating. In the RCB dressing room as well, I hardly saw AB eating salads. If we can somehow make him not eat meat during our series, we can very well control his magic. I know this is just a theory from my side but it has to be at least tried. And this is the best time to try it with the meat ban being the high point of discussion. Also, we, Indians can very well survive on vegetarian food for the series.”
The murmurs of meat-ban has led to a cat-fight between the meat-loving Sonakshi Sinha and a Kohli-loving Anushka Sharma. Meanwhile, our sources have informed that an angry Uddhav Thackeray has offered to help the Proteans by appointing Mumbai’s dabbawalas to carry meat to the South African dressing room during the series.
It remains to be seen what happens when the series begins and if the meat ban actually continues, will the salad eating AB be equally dangerous?
Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction
[Devashish Palkar, an MBBS student, A sports afficionado, news addict and a patient of OCSD ( Obsessive Compulsive Satirical Disorder)].
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