N Srinivasan to release his no-holds-barred autobiography

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

With Sachin Tendulkar’s autobiography already a huge hit, N Srinivasan —the International Cricket Council (ICC) chairman and eternal boss of Board of Control for Cricket in India — is all set to release his own autobiography. The book will be an extensive collection of Srinivasan’s career as a cricket administrator.

“Sachin is a phenomenon and his book inspired me to write my own story. They say, ‘When Sachin scores a century, India sleeps well’. But when I take cricketing decisions, the sleep patterns of the entire cricketing world are impacted, Srinivasan said with a no-nonsense look at this writer.
The ICC Chairman is keen to produce his book on same lines as Tendulkar. Hence he has chosen a renowned cricket expert to write the book. The book will be co-written by none other than the king of clichés, Ravi Shastri.

“Ravi has a great command over his (cross) clichés language, he can keep the audience at the ‘edge of their seats’ right till the last page of the book,” Srini explained the rationale behind getting Shastri to be the ghost for writing his book.

Shastri said he was honoured to chronicle the story of “world’s finest, most powerful and most benevolent” sports administrator.

“We are talking about a terrific administrator. Make no mistake, he has served cricket in whatever roles you can ask for. You couldn’t have asked for anything better,” Shastri thundered.

Srinivasan made subtle changes to Tendulkar’s book title and named his autobiography ‘Playing It The Hard Way’.

Those who dared to take on the might of Srinivasan will agree that the title of the book is just perfect.

While Sachin has avoided elaborating on some controversial topics, it would be interesting to see whether Srinivasan is candid about controversies that he usually terms as trying to ‘bulldoze’ and ‘railroad’ him.
Meanwhile, the member nations of the ICC have already pre-ordered the book as a mark of ‘respect’. According to the publisher, the pre-order numbers of the book is set to establish a new world record.

Asked about the topics he has covered in his autobiography, Srinivasan said: “It’s going to be a no-holds-barred book – the most explosive in the history of cricket literature. But at this juncture, I will reveal just one topic. It’s called ‘Swach Bharat’ and it involves Modi. Let me add, this mission has go nothing to do with Narendra Modi!”

(It’s said that looks can be deceiving. Abhijit Banare is a perfect example of that belief. Those who don’t know him often get stumped that this quiet person is capable of impish humour. His repartees and one-liners have people around him in splits.)