Narendra Modi proves to be a blessing for Pakistan cricket

Ahmed Shehzad © Getty Images

By Ashwin Kumar
Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction

In a rare gesture of praise and goodwill by a Pakistani towards an Indian politician, Pakistan’s opening batsman Ahmed Shehzad profusely thanked Gujarat Chief Minister and Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) Prime Ministerial candidate Narendra Modi for increasing his popularity by peppering his speeches with the term “Shehzade”.

“Few in the cricketing world knew who I was,” said the right-handed opening batsman, “but over the past week, there has been a massive spike in the number of visits to my Cricinfo and Wikipedia pages. I even got a call from ESPN folks, who asked me whether I had broken some domestic record to hog such limelight. It was then that they realised that most of the search queries were originating from India and the US and immediately after the speeches of Mr Narendra Modiji. The number of likes on my Facebook page has also shot up. I have lot of fans now and I’ve earned rockstar status. Officials in Facebook India say that I’m closing in on Ashok Gehlot, who is currently leading with a phenomenal number of likes on his page.”

“And it doesn’t just stop at that,” Shehzad continued in an emotional vein. “I believe that Youth Congress activists from the Indian state of Tamil Nadu have garlanded my posters in support and fed cake to it. I’m really very touched.”

Shehzad’s family is also delighted at their boy’s new found adulation. “Things were very bleak earlier for the boy,” a relative said. “Always getting bowled through the gates and struggling to hold on to his position in the national squad. Now he has become a household name in the neighboring mulk. I always knew ki eh banda ek din kamaal karega,” he added, lapsing into Urdu in the end, tears of joy streaming down his face.

Back home, Oscar winner AR Rahman has also benefited from Modi’s references. “There was this song Shehzade which I had done for this movie Lakeer. Except some rabid fans of mine who kept listening to it, the song didn’t quite make it huge like my other hits. However, thanks to Modiji, the song has recorded lakhs and lakhs of hits on Youtube and iTunes now,” the music virtuoso noted.

Pakistan Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif has reportedly requested US President Barack Obama to intervene by speaking to Modi and urging him to mention the names of other Pakistani cricketers as well so as to boost their popularity.

(Ashwin Kumar is a humorist with where this article was originally published. The UnReal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal)