Published: Mar 19, 2013, 12:57 AM (IST)
Edited: Mar 19, 2013, 12:57 AM (IST)
Ravindra Jadeja walking on water. Photo courtesy: Faking News
By Rahul Roushan
Please note this is a humour article – work of pure fiction
While they have wasted working hours over all kind of issues, India’s honorable Members of Parliament on Monday decided to keep aside their differences and agree to work for a day to finalise an honorable title for cricketer Ravindra Jadeja.
Of late, the all-rounder has been addressed by various titles — Sir, Lord, Superstar, Savior, King, Rajinikanth, et al. — which has made it highly confusing for the fans and authorities. Parliament will finalise one such title and settle the issue once and for all.
“We were afraid that various Aadhar cards and UID numbers could be issued to Sri Ravindra Jadeja after pre-fixing or suffixing his name with such titles, as he’s been popular this way. We acted preemptively to avoid any such embarrassment,” a government source disclosed why it agreed to have a special parliamentary session.
Although royal titles like Rai Bahadur, Nawaab, etc. have been abolished by the Indian constitution, experts believe that this won’t come in way of finalising a title for Jadeja.
“This is beyond royal now,” a constitutional expert told Faking News, “Jadeja is now in the divine zone. And the constitution doesn’t ban divine titles such as Sri Sri, Param Pujya, His Holiness, or Hazrat.”
It should be noted that originally these titles e.g. Sir, Lord, etc. were announced to make fun of Ravindra Jadeja, but lately, they have started sounding genuine.
“Congress sees a hope there, and they feel that one day Rahul Gandhi too will silence those who make fun of him,” a party source explained why Congress had issued a whip for all its members to be present in the house to choose a title for the cricketer.
On the other hand, BJP is keen to honor Jadeja just because he’s from Gujarat.
Communist parties are impressed with him being a Lefty, while Mamata Banerjee likes his cool blue shades.
Surprisingly even Mulayam Singh Yadav has agreed not to take any U-turn on the issue as he has been very impressed with turns that Jadeja has been able to extract in the ongoing series.
The cricketer will be honoured with the title during the final Test against Australia that takes place in New Delhi later this week, the moment he gets Australian captain Michael Clare out for the sixth time in the series.
(Rahul Roushan, is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad, who goes by the name of “Pagal Patrakar” (that’s “Crazy Journalist” in Hindi). He is the Managing Editor of Faking News. Rahul says for him, “satire is an attempt to point out shortcomings or oddities in our society, ideally with a message and intent for betterment, in a non-hostile manner and without sounding overtly accusative or pontificating.” The above post has been reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)
