Ravi Shastri adapts Mahatma Gandhi’s philosophy to cricket and motivates Team India
India captain MS Dhoni (left) with team director Ravi Shastri © Getty Images

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

 

In an attempt to bolster the morale of Team India ahead of the upcoming ICC World Cup 2015, cricket commentary legend and team director Ravi Shastri resorted to famous quotes of Mahatma Gandhi. In his own, inimitable style, Shastri relived some of Mahatma’s quotable quotes, leaving the players spellbound.

 

The UnReal Times correspondent Varsha Dhoble brings you this exclusive compilation of the original quotes by Gandhi and Shastri’s version of the same quotes:

 

1. On peace

Mahatma Gandhi: “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

Ravi Shastri: “An eye for an eye only ends up making the world go all the way down to the wire.”

 

2. On change

Mahatma Gandhi: “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Ravi Shastri: “Be the bowling change that would do the trick for you.”

 

3. On perseverance

Mahatma Gandhi: “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

Ravi Shastri: “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you give them the kitchen sink.”

 

4. On truth

Mahatma Gandhi: “Truth never damages a cause that is just.”

Ravi Shastri: “In the end, truth is always the winner.”

 

5. On forgiveness

Mahatma Gandhi: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

Ravi Shastri: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of those who are cool customers, with loads of experience.”

 

6. On finding oneself

Mahatma Gandhi: ”The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

Ravi Shastri: “The best way to find yourself is to give yourself some room and play on the rise in the service of others.”

 

7. On patience

Mahatma Gandhi: “If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm.”

Ravi Shastri: “If patience is worth anything, it must go all the way down to the wire. And a living faith will last when all three results are possible.”

 

8. On living and learning

Mahatma Gandhi: “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

Ravi Shastri: “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if it were just what the doctor ordered.”

 

9. On humanity

Mahatma Gandhi: “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”

Ravi Shastri: “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, up goes my finger!”

 

10. On Talisman

Mahatma Gandhi: “I will give you a talisman. Whenever you are in doubt, or when the self becomes too much with you, apply the following test. Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest man [woman] whom you may have seen, and ask yourself, if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to him [her]. Will he [she] gain anything by it? Will it restore him [her] to a control over his [her] own life and destiny? In other words, will it lead to swaraj [freedom] for the hungry and spiritually starving millions? Then you will find your doubts and yourself melt away.”

Ravi Shastri: “I will give you a talisman. Whenever you justtt get the feeling that something’s gotta give, apply the following test. Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest player whom you may have seen, and ask yourself, if the step you contemplate will help him get his eye in. Will he able to play his natural game? Will he take the aerial route? In other words, will he flash and flash hard? Then you will find your doubts and yourself go the distance, faster than a tracer-bullet!”

 

(Ashwin Kumar is a humorist with www.theunrealtimes.com where this article was originally published. The UnReal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal)