Satire: Now it's Sreesanth who gets detained at an American Airport!

S Sreesanth © Getty Images

With national outrage over Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan’s detention at an airport in New York still simmering, callous American immigration authorities have yet again behaved offensively. This time, it is Indian speedster Shantakumaran Sreesanth, who was detained by security officials at Boston airport for undertaking ‘suspicious activities’.


Officials said that Sreesanth had an early morning flight to catch, so he reached a little before midnight. “On checking in, clearing the security check and reaching the terminal, this dude saw the date, changed into white garments and right in the middle of the terminal, started setting up a mirror and a necklace around it. He then purchased apples, bananas and grapes from a duty free shop, and proceeded to break a coconut into two halves, damaging the carpeted floor in the process. He also had two cups of gold coins. The last thing we saw him place was betel leaves. He then took a little power nap and as soon as he woke up, he was seen praying in front of his arrangement. When he was done, he offered some money to a small boy who was near him and that was when we decided – that’s it! We’ve gotta question this guy! We then took him away and seized all this stuff,” a Boston airport security official said.


Sreesanth apparently tried to explain to the officials that today being the auspicious day of Vishu, he was trying to celebrate it all by himself, as praying in such a setup was the first thing he had to do on waking up. He was also supposed to have said that the money he gave to the small boy was “Vishukaineetam“.


The Boston security officials, however, weren’t convinced, and went to the extent of slapping Sreesanth, who burst into tears. 


To their horror, tears quickly gave way to rage, and Sreesanth was seen growling in anger and gritting his teeth in characteristic fashion. 


“Jeez! That was scary! We had seen such stuff only in National Geographic & Animal Planet until then. Whew! That was something! We then decided to let him go, following which he did some weird dance moves. We’ve dealt with smugglers, terrorists and all sorts of people, but man, this guy gave us the heebie jeebies!” said the official.


Congress MP Shashi Tharoor was the first to react. “The undignified perception and the subsequent mishandling of the whole imbroglio has succeeded in casting a magnanimous blot on the insofar near-to-immaculate reputation of the United States,” Tharoor said. That left Parliamentary Affairs Minister Rajiv Shukla open-mouthed for a couple of minutes before the Board of Control for Cricket India (BCCI) vice-president finally opened up and said, “It is really e-sad that e-Sreesanth had to be detained faar qwaystoneeng. We con-dame the e-series of ewaynts.”


External Affairs Minister SM Krishna too, has vowed to ensure justice, saying, “I will avenge this insult to Javagal Srinath at any cost!”


(Ashwin Kumar is an untrained musician, singer, writer/blogger, satirist, T Rajendar (pseudo)-fanatic, mimic, passionate about stopping female foeticide)
(Reproduced with permission from The UnReal Times is one of the top websites for satire, spoof, parody and humour in India.)