Satire: Shahrukh Khan and MCA patch up; Sajid Khan plays peacemaker

Shahrukh Khan (L) and Sajid Khan.

Filmmaker Sajid Khan seems to be turning into a full-time peacemaker these days. Farah Khan’s brother was at it again! This time he facilitated a patch-up between Shahrukh Khan and officials of the Mumbai Cricket Association (MCA), after their recent brawl which led to the MCA filing a complaint in the Marine Drive police station against the superstar.


An MCA official, on conditions of anonymity, said, “Arre yaar, Sajid bhai came and told us ki if we don’t forgive SRK, he will ask Rajiv Shuklajito screen Housefull 1 and 2 back-to-back for us. Who wants to go through such torture, yaar? That’s when we decided it is better to forgive Khan saab!”


When asked what triggered the brawl, the official said, “Khan saab was fully drunk. He saw the former chairman of selectors Kiran More standing with us and immediately started coming towards him, shouting ‘K..K..Kirran…Tu hai meri K..K..Kiran’, causing a terrified  More to move away. We tried to stop Shahrukh, but he pushed us away. 

“Even (Kris) Srikkanth got angry and told Sharukh, ‘Boss, you just shut up’. 

“But Shahrukh said, ‘Ehhh Cheeka, Dinka Cheeka’ and started imitating Salman Khan’pelvic thrusts

Things took a turn for the worse when Vilasrao Deshmukhji taunted him, saying that SRK was just venting out his frustration because of the failures of Ra.One and Don 2. To which Sharukh shot back saying “Abey saale, I at least have solo hits to my credit. Ritesh ko acting sikhaana mushkil hi nahin, naa mumkin hai,” leading to a scuffle between the two.


Shahrukh, however, found support from his bum-chum and director Karan Johar, who said, “Awww Shahrukh… that poor thing. Don’t worry, darling! Those MCA people are so mean, yaa!”


In related news, External Affairs Minister SM Krishna summoned the Angolan Ambassador, Mr Jose Mombasa, to express his displeasure at the incident. “Repeated problems for same person followed by clearance on account of consular intervention and mechanical apology is not adequate. First, you detain him at your airport and now you misbehave with him. WHAT IS THIS?” hollered the venerable minister.


When contacted by The Unreal Times, SRK blamed the altercation on his becoming the brand ambassador for McDowells. “Earlier when I endorsed only Pepsi, I never got into trouble after gulping down their sweet, caffeinated cola. But now, I am haunted by my own lines, ‘Have I made it large?’, whenever I down a peg and lose my head,” rued the Baadshah of Bollywood.


(Ashwin Kumar is an untrained musician, singer, writer/blogger, satirist, T Rajendar (pseudo)-fanatic, mimic, passionate about stopping female foeticide)
(Reproduced with permission from The UnReal Times is one of the top websites for satire, spoof, parody and humour in India.)