Shahid Afridi wants Bollywood to make a biopic on him

Azharuddin. Dhoni. Sachin. All are going to have their lives made into Bollywood movies this year and it’s really exciting times if you are a typical Indian who loves Bollywood and cricket alike.

But across the border, things aren’t looking that great.

Shahid Afridi, the legendary Pakistan all-rounder is upset that even Bollywood has ignored him and nobody, not even Ram Gopal Varma has any intentions of making a biopic on him.

In an exclusive interview to this writer, our Shahid bhai revealed, ”Look, I am sorry, but I am fed up with you Indians. You can never have hearts as big as us. I praised India while I was in India and even drew flak from my own countrymen thinking this would at least get me into an IPL. But, no it didn’t work. So, I even made sure that Pakistan lost the World Cup match against India, which would make the Bollywood celebrities who had come there to watch the game happy. And by Bollywood celebrities, I don’t mean Abhishek Bachchan and Aftab Shivdasani or Dino Morea!”

Quizzed further on who among the Bollywood celebs Shahid bhai would like to play the lead, he replied, ”I am fine with anyone. Practically, anybody can be me. That is why making a biopic on me is an easy job. They don’t need to practice my shots like Emraan Hashmi had to practice Azharuddin’s wristy flicks or Sushant had to practice those helicopter shots. Anybody can close their eyes and slog over mid-wicket, isn’t it?”

FAN connection

“But still, if given a choice, I would want SRK to play SKA (Shahid Khan Afridi). You, see we both love each other’s countries, we are extremely popular on both sides of the border. We are both ageless. We both have the most loyal fans who can sit through a Dilwale or those countless ducks with the bat respectively and still have fans. There was a very good movie made in Pakistan titled, Main hoon Afridi wherein a crazy fan kid wants to become Shahid Afridi and I am guessing a similar movie about a crazy SRK fan has just released. So, you see, there are so many similarities. We are both powerful Pathans made for each other!”

While we are still to hear a word from SRK on this, Qandeel Baloch has already made a video on how she is the perfect actress to play the female lead in the movie.

Also, Taher Shah, whose popularity across the border soared recently, has shown interest in making the movie.

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

[Dr. Devashish Palkar is a sports aficionado, news addict and a patient of OCSD ( Obsessive Compulsive Satirical Disorder)].