So, Michael Clarke retired from international cricket a few weeks back and we saw the outpouring of adulation and admiration from the cricketing community worldwide. Brad Haddin retired and what followed were some forced congratulatory messages. However, between these two retirements came the news of Shane Watson’s retirement, which surely created much buzz. Generally, when a senior Australian batsman retires, bowlers around the globe breathe a sigh of relief.
However, on Sunday as the news of Shane Watson’s retirement hit the headlines, swing bowlers were seen shedding tears. Initially, they thought it was just a joke on part of Watson to lighten things up after what had been a gruelling English summer. But, later as Cricket Australia and Darren Lehman confirmed the news, the fast bowlers around the world were shell-shocked.
The afternoon swing bowling session at MRF pace academy was brought to standstill as swing bowlers started doubting their career choices. A few immediately left the pace academy in an attempt to move away from swing bowling and may be emulate a former MRF pace academy student named Sachin Tendulkar.
Here’s what happened as the rest of the world grabbed this piece of news. James Anderson broke down at his home as his wife reported the news. Watson, as we all know, has been known for his inability to play against a swinging ball especially the one that comes into the pads at an angle and hits his front pad, which had been bearing the brunt of brutal attacks so very often lately. The pad, no doubt is a relieved commodity. “I was expecting Shane Watson to play another couple of Ashes series before he retired. I just recently completed 400 international test wickets and badly wanted to get to 500. But, now with Watson gone, I will have to reconsider the plans. I see no series coming up versus India as well in the immediate future. Oh I am retiring from cricket as well”, a dejected James Anderson is believed to have said his wife. England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) were apparently shocked by this sudden retirement announcement by their premier swing bowler. England requested BCCI to plan a few more series versus India in on English soil so that Anderson can take the wickets of Kohli with the out swingers and Rohit Sharma’s with the in swinger and reach to that 500 milestone.
Undoubtedly, Watson’s retirement has left many glum faces in the cricketing world.
Wasim Akram, the sultan of swing, while paying tribute to Watson said, “The only regret I have had in my entire life is to not have got a chance to bowl to Shane Watson in Test matches. I would have had 50 more wickets! If I am the sultan of swing, Watto was the ‘bunny of swing’!”
Watson was apparently miffed at reading this report and said threatened that he would take the IPL by storm the next season by bullying with the bat on flat Indian tracks. However, our reporters politely informed him that Rajasthan Royals have been banned for the next two seasons.
Ravi Shastri remarked in his usual fashion, “Watson has retired and the cricket will miss him. Especially, the swing bowlers will miss him. Look at Ishant, he was prepared for this news that’s why he has been concentrating more on bowling fast and banging it in than trying to swing the ball against Sri Lanka. If you’re a swing bowler, it’s time to change your career. This is what the doctor has ordered this time!”
Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction
(Devashish Palkar, an MBBS student, A sports afficionado, news addict and a patient of OCSD ( Obsessive Compulsive Satirical Disorder). The above article first appeared in the UnReal Times. The UnReal Times is India’s favourite satire, spoof, parody and humour portal)
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