Published: Dec 09, 2012, 03:51 PM (IST)
Edited: Dec 09, 2012, 03:51 PM (IST)
Investigators collecting samples from the Eden Gardens track where India s honor was tarnished due to pernicious acts of Prabir Mukherjee © Faking News
By Pushkar Ganesh Vaidya
Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.
High drama unfolded around lunch time on Sunday as sleuths from the Intelligence Bureau (IB) and Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI), in a joint-operation, arrested the Prabir Mukherjee, the 84-year old curator of the Eden Gardens.
He was arrested under the National Security Act, 1980. The action was taken following a complaint from the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI).
The BCCI, in their official statement, said, “The third Test match lasted for five days as Mr. Prabir Mukherjee failed to create a pitch that would give us a result in three days. He has costed our national cricket team two precious days of rest before the fourth Test at Nagpur. We deem his actions as anti-national.”
MP Rajeev Shukla was furious. He echoed the BCCI views, “India played well, Zaheer Khan consistently bowled faster than Monty Panesar and our young batsmen showed that they can match Sachin Tendulkar’s recent average. It was the pitch that stopped us from losing within three days. Mr. Mukherjee’s work ethics have shamed us all.”
In a brief interaction with this Faking News reporter, Virender Sehwag was candid as always: “Naturally Indian cricket fans are disappointed with our performance and so are we but don’t forget that our team is capable of loosing within 3 days on any kind of pitch conditions. We will give our best.”
In a separate development, Shiv Sena MP Sanjay Raut confirmed that the BCCI has approached him to prepare the pitch for the Nagpur Test. He said, “Shiv Sena will not tolerate that our cricket team has to toil for 4-5 days to lose a Test match, that too in home conditions”.
“Shiv Sena will dig deep to prepare the pitch exactly as Dhoni wants. If the English do not win the Test match in a few hours, then we will teach them how to play cricket in Shiv Sena style,” he added.
Meanwhile, it is learnt that Mr. Prabir Mukherjee has been detained at an unknown location; he is considered to be a high-risk security threat to the heroes of Indian cricket.
(Pushkar Ganesh Vaidya is a scientist and heads Indian Astrobiology Research Centre, Mumbai. The above article is reproduced with permission from www.fakingnews.com)
