A few years back there was a boy from Bihar who was a part of Delhi Daredevils IPL squad but could never really make the cut in the playing XI. However, that boy was sworn in as the deputy Chief Minister of Bihar a couple of days back. Yes, according to sources from his father’s party RJD, Tejashwi Yadav was so talented a batsman and so capable a leader that he was all set to replace Virat Kohli as Indian captain but politics took him away!
Tejashwi has achieved one of his dreams of becoming the elected minister of Bihar legislative assembly. The other dream of playing cricket remains elusive though. Sources are now revealing that Tejashwi is planning to organise a charity All-Stars Twenty20 match which will feature political parties fighting it out with bat and ball. This is his final bid to realise his longstanding dream.
But Tejashwi needs to be wary, as politics is not an easy pitch to bat on. He will have to face the much experienced political heavyweights on the field. Here’s presenting a list of seasoned campaigners who’d turn up for the league:
Narendra Modi: The captain of the team, he is the most prized wicket on the political pitch. Every team and every bowler wants to get him out. Some bowlers are making pairs (Mahagathbandhan) to get his wicket. But just like AB de Villiers, Modi too is innovative and manages to get out of troubles even when rest of his teammates are succumbing to Arvind Kejriwal’s spin and Lalu Prasad Yadav’s swing. It will however be interesting to see whether Modi’s available for the match that is to be played in Bihar, given his frequent overseas tours.
Arvind Kejriwal: The mystery spinner, Kejri is known for taking abrupt U-turns and varying standpoints. The anti-corruption crusader once termed Lalu as the most corrupt man and has now embraced him; this shows nobody can spin the political ball more than him. Hopefully, he will give the cricket ball a decent tweak as well.
Lalu Prasad Yadav: The deadly swing bowler who just proved his prowess by ‘SWINGing’ the Bihar elections in his favour even after the odds were very high.
Rahul Gandhi: The ‘Rohit Sharma’ of politics, this guy is supremely talented. Despite failure after failure, the party management persists with him. Hopefully, his hidden talent will be visible on the cricket field.
Nitish Kumar: Just like MS Dhoni, who is still the captain of Indian team despite much criticism, Nitish is still the Chief Minister of Bihar which shows he could be the best captain for the opposition side.
Subramanian Swamy: The motor-mouth politician, known for his vicious attacks on the Gandhi family, will play as the hostile fast bowler in the match.
Arun Jaitley: The statesman, the thinker, Jaitley will play the role that Rahul Dravid used to play for the Indian team. He’d be expected to play the sheet-anchor’s role and save the team when in trouble.
Shashi Tharoor: Known for his supreme command over the language and his love for cricket, Shashi Tharoor will be the commentator for the match and hopefully he will do better than current India team director.
Reportedly, some players like Sakshi Maharaj, Yogi Adityanath, Kailash Vijayvargiya, Digvijay Singh, Akbaruddin Owaisi and Azam Khan will feature in the match purely on their abusive skills. Both the captains have confirmed that these players have no cricketing skills whatsoever, but would play instrumental role in unsettling the opposition with their nasty sledging.
Apart from individual players, there are also a few key partnerships which could change the complexion of the game, most notably – the two opposite pairs of Lalu-Nitish and Modi-Amit Shah.
Though, Modi-Amit Shah won the World Cup of politics (General Elections), they are struggling in bilateral series; first versus Bangladesh (J&K) and now versus Bihar (South Africa.)
Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction
[Devashish Palkar, an MBBS student, A sports afficionado, news addict and a patient of OCSD ( Obsessive Compulsive Satirical Disorder)].