1. Shahid Afridi – An edible cricket ball.


2. Kamran Akmal – A watertight alibi.


3. Wahab Riaz – See above.


4. Ricky Ponting – Injury to Zaheer Khan.


5. Phil Hughes – Injury to Ricky Ponting.


6. AB de Villiers – ‘The God Delusion’ by Richard Dawkins.


7. Ravi Shastri – financial advice from CitiGroup, c. 2005. 


8. Shane Warne – An untraceable phone.


9. Jacques Kallis – A toupée, because anything would be less embarrassing than what he’s got right now. 


10. Sachin Tendulkar – A free pass through the nervous nineties.


(This article is reproduced with permission from AlternativeCricket.com. AlternativeCricket is currently developing a scholarship for young Afghan cricketers. You can follow them on Facebook (facebook.com/alternativecricket) and Twitter (twitter.com/altcricket)