Virat Kohli has ran into trouble © Getty Images
Virat Kohli has ran into trouble © Getty Images

As Indian cricket team toiled at the R Premadasa International Stadium in Colombo against Sri Lanka Cricket Board President’s XI under the leadership of Virat Kohli, there was a matter of concern for the Indian camp, arising all the way from New Delhi. Kohli, the 26-year-old precocious talent bestowed with the responsibility of taking Indian cricket ahead in the longest format, faces a possible ban from the Indian Government. Kohli may not get to lead India in his first full series as their 32nd captain. Photo: Virat Kohli enjoying crabs at Mahela Jayawardene & Kumar Sangakkara’s restaurant in Colombo

The Indian Government, under the leadership of Narendra Modi, is indeed leaving no stone unturned to change the lifestyle of the general public, and it looks like cricketers are not going to be spared as well. In all probability, Kohli is all set to be banned by the Government for filling up his stomach to his content in a Colombo restaurant.

In what comes as a shocking revelation in the Indian cricket and political circles in the country’s capital, New Delhi, the Modi-led central Government is planning to ban Kohli from playing — because he savoured crabs in a famous restaurant in Sri Lanka.

The Indian cricket team will be playing three Tests against Sri Lanka, with the first Test starting on August 12. The Indian cricket team reached the island nation earlier this week, and is currently busy in a warm-up game in Colombo, generally leading a crab-free life. ALSO READ: Virat Kohli, Varun Aaron look dashing in sun glasses while travelling in Sri Lanka

The Government is not happy with Kohli posting his pictures on social media website Instagram at the restaurant in Colombo, jointly owned by Mahela Jayawardene and Kumar Sangakkara. The restaurant, named ‘Ministry of Crabs’, is a hit among the locals as well as those touring Sri Lanka, as it serves some really delicious lagoon crab. The restaurant is a hit among cricketers as well, and many have been to the place while touring the island nation.

A source in the Indian Ministry of Health and Family Welfare revealed to this reporter of the Government mulling over a possible ban on Kohli. “Look, you have to concede that Kohli is an idol. There are millions trying to emulate him. He rules the hearts of the youth in the country. By posting pictures of eating crabs, he has not done right. Indian culture does not promote consumption of meat or alcohol, and he has certainly disappointed us,” the source said.

The source, who obviously spoke on the condition of anonymity, continued, “See, personally, I don’t mind what he does in life. There has already been a lot of hoo-hah in the media about his relationship with that Bollywood actress [Anushka Sharma]. But I don’t mind. None of us does. I don’t understand why people have to be so excited about it. It seems they have no other job to follow these lovebirds. People should be serious in their lives and contribute to the country’s progress. But they [Kohli and Anushka] are celebrities, and they should also keep in mind what their responsibilities and roles are.”

It seems that the Government’s move to promote ‘Swachh Bharat’ not only pertains to keeping India clean, but also to improve the quality of people’s lives. The recent ban on pornographic websites — although lifted immediately — the ban on consumption and even possession of beef in Maharashtra are the two strong moves the central Government has taken in order to strengthen their efforts. The source said that the Government will not be unperturbed in taking harsh decisions in the future.

Despite the Government being unhappy with what has happened, it has not yet decided about how to roll out the ban on Kohli. It is a matter which somehow remains out of its direct control, for The Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) is a private body and the Government does not have any direct say on its functioning.

Please note this is a humour article — a work of pure fiction

(Golu Sharma is among the millions of lardy Indians who wanted to become international cricketers, but their bulkiness came in the way. He’s now freelancing as a cricket journalist, but doesn’t like to be addressed as ‘citizen journalist’. Golu also dreams of flying a Sukhoi MKI 30 so loud and fast that it proves to the aircraft’s Russian makers that it’s their lousy technology behind the crashes)