Indian selectors meeting

The calm before the storm (from left): Saba Karim, Roger Binny, BCCI secretary Sanjay Jagdale, Sandeep Patil, MS Dhoni and Vikram Rathour before commencement of the meeting to pick the Indian team for the first two Tests against England © PTI

Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.

As a sense of shock swept the nation on Monday following the selection of India’s Test squad to play England, members of the new selection committee met the media to explain the selections.

 

“I must admit there were some errors, which were inadvertent,” explained chairman Sandeep Patil to the Press.

 

“How was Bhajji selected?” screamed some voices from the back of crowded media room.

 

“Please relax” countered Patil and looked at Roger Binny.

 

Clearing his throat, Binny added, “Well, we were into the meeting for about 45 minutes when I felt a little hungry. I thought it was time for a snack and suggested to the committee that it was ‘time to have bajji’. Everyone agreed immediately.  As you all know, bajji is a South Indian snack, something that I dearly love.

 

However the guy taking notes for the press release is not from South India and mistook that for Bhajji!”

 

“What about Vijay, Murali Vijay?” thundered another voice.

 

Explained Patil: “We selectors arrived by flight this morning for the meeting and some of us were sharing our flight experiences. Rajinder Singh Hans said he missed Kingfisher service. At that point, Vikram Rathour asked if Dr Mallya should be helped by the government to resume flight operations. Binny, who knows Mallya at a personal level, said: “Yes, Vijay should be given a chance”. Everyone immediately raised their hands and said YES! The secretary who was noting down the selections mistook the name for Murali Vijay!”

 

“Why was Badrinath dropped?” demanded a young lady from Chennai.

 

“Well ma’am, with Murali Vijay already in, if Badrinath were to be picked you would blame Srini maama and his clout, right?” answered Patil.

 

“Why was Suresh Raina dropped?” a guy in CSK jersey.

 

Saba Karim smilingly replied: “Well, this was clearly not our fault. The secretary who was writing out the names himself had decided to not write down Raina’s name!”

 

This was a bit too much. The enraged Press corps thundered: “Now who the hell is this secretary?

 

“Oh, he is none other than Suresh Raina’s nephew, the one who misuses smart phones!”

 

NB: The above article is pure fiction.

 

(Vincent Sunder aspired to play Test cricket, but had to struggle to play .gully. cricket! He managed a league side to title triumph in the KSCA tournaments. He was debarred from umpiring in the gully games after he once appealed vociferously for a caught-behind decision when officiating as an umpire! After two decades in the corporate sector, he became an entrepreneur with the objective of being able to see cricket matches on working days as well. Vincent gets his .high. from cricket books and cricket videos and discussing cricket)