Hours after he hit a match-saving ton to go along with his 5-wicket haul in the first innings, Ashwin was relaxing in his hotel room listening to Dhanush’s viral number "Why this Kolaveri Di", when he got a rather interesting phone call from a Sardar who called himself Harvinder Singh.
Hours after he hit a match-saving ton to go along with his 5-wicket haul in the first innings, Ashwin was relaxing in his hotel room listening to Dhanush’s viral number “Why this Kolaveri Di”, when he got a rather interesting phone call from a Sardar who called himself Harvinder Singh.
Ashwin was kind enough to share the transcript of the phone conversation with The UnReal Times.
Ashwin: Hello
Harvinder Singh: Ashwin bol raha hai?
Ashwin (enthusiastically): Yes, are you one of my fans? Thank you, thank you. The century is dedicated to the team and…
Harvinder Singh (interrupts): ABE CHUP!
Ashwin (after a pause): Er… who are you?
Harvinder Singh: Myself Harvinder Singh from Patiala. I am the destroyer of corruption. Kal hi meine Sharad Pawar ko thappad maara
Ashwin: Er… ok.. but Harvinder paaji, why are you calling me? What have I got to do with corruption??
Harvinder Singh: Abe, you are corrupting Indian cricket! Kya soch ke century maara? Bhool gaya kya ki tu bowler hai? Apna kaam kyun nahi karta hai?
Ashwin: But I also took a five-wicket haul in the first innings.
(There’s a pause on the other end as Harvinder Singh seemingly searches for words)
Harvinder Singh: Oye, to kya tu apne aap ko Bond samajhta hai? You think you have made it LARGE?
(This time there’s a pause at Ashwin’s end)
Ashwin: Harvinder paaji, your voice is strangely familiar. Have we met?
Harvinder Singh hesitates before unleashing a mouthful of abuse, forcing Ashwin to hold his mobile away from his ear.
Ashwin (after Harvinder is done): Ok, Harvinder paaji, you tell me what should I do in the next Test match?
Harvinder Singh (tone abruptly changes from aggressive to patronizing): Oye, bowl flat, wicket-to-wicket, hold up one end and control the run-rate. Yehi ek Indian off-spinner ka kaam hai.
Ashwin: All right. Will do that. Aur bataiye paaji, papa ka ball-bearing factory theek thaak chal raha hai?
Harvinder Singh (heartily): Haan, sab changa hai.
Ashwin: Geeta is doing well?
Harvinder Singh: Haan, she’s fine…. (stops abruptly)… Oh F*CK… (mutters) Saala shaana madrasi… @#$#$@#$
(The phone clicks)
(Reproduced with permission from http://www.theunrealtimes.com/. The UnReal Times is one of the top websites for satire, spoof, parody and humour in India)
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