Bollywood superstar Aamir Khan (left) is likely to play the role of Indian captain in the latest RGV movie while Poonam Pandey's role will be donned by Antara Mali

 

By Amrut Thobbi

 

Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.

 

Team India’s 0-4 whitewash in the Test series against England and 0-3 defeat in the One-Day International series (ODIs) that followed have disappointed the whole country.

 

Even as the cricket-crazy nation of India is plunged into deep disappointment, there is one man who sees some good in the debacle. Bollywood director Ram Gopal Varma is so impressed with Team India’s ‘feat’ of losing all the matches that he has decided to remake one of his own movies with a rewritten script based on Indian team’s non-performance in England.

 

RGV believes both victories and defeats offer valuable lessons in life. He pontificated, “Life is all about success and failure. There is nothing wrong in losing as long as you learn from it. I want to send a strong message to the youngsters of this country though my forthcoming cricket movie. Moreover, after making this movie, no critic can say that Indian film makers can’t make sports movies.”

 

Citing his own failures as examples, RGV said that it is not just cricket teams that fail but people from all walks of life do fail. He explained, “Even I have been involved in making a lot of flops all my life. But I never gave up. I was determined to make more such creations! Failures are the stepping stones of success, is what I learnt in school. But in reality I found out that failures are the stepping stones for more failures!”

 

When enquired about his recent successes, RGV gave a cold stare at us. “Let’s focus only on failures,” he said curtly. I almost felt like an actor before the director barking “cut” on his megaphone!

 

This idea of making a film on Indian team, however, has not gone down well with some of RGV’s regulars. One such is Antara Mali, who has expressed disappointment over RGC’s decision. She feels she may not have a role in his new movie on the men’s Indian cricket team.

 

But trust RGV to come up with the right answers! My source in Bollywood tells me that the director will cast her in the role of Poonam Pandey! But RGV is not making a clean breast of it for the moment.

 

But RGV was quite candid in telling that he would cast Aamir Khan as the Indian captain. The director believes Aamir’s experience of working in cricket-based movie Lagaan will help him do justice to the role, more than any other actor.

 

Apparently, Aamir want RGV to cast his nephews Imran Khan in the film and even suggested that he play the role of the England player with chocolate boy looks, Stuart Broad.

 

As I was leaving his room, he gave me a list from which he asked me to pick a title which I apt for the film.

 

Here are the titles:

 

Darna zaroori hai kya?

 

Love ke liye kuchh bhi karega – (Remember the 0-4 and 0-3 defeats in the Test & ODI series!)

 

Main Rahul Dravid banna chahta hoon

 

(Amrut Thobbi, an engineering graduate now pursuing Masters in journalism, is an ardent cricket fan. His passion for writing inspired him to give up a sales and marketing job, which he does not regret. By writing on cricket, he wants to relive his dream of becoming a cricketer. He has also worked as a freelance writer in education and technology sectors)