Humour: Reactions of Indian players after World T20 match against Afghanistan

Mohammad Shahzad believes that cricketing shots need more paunch than punch! © AFP

Please note: This is a humorous piece – pure fiction.

The unsung Afghanistan team all but beat India in the T20 World Cup game at Colombo on Wednesday. It was a rude jolt for the Indian team.

 

Here are some post-match reactions:

 

1. Mahendra Singh Dhoni: We are very confident that Gautam Gambhir will fire and emerge as a champion player – in Poker!

 

2. Duncan Fletcher: I agree some things need to change in the dugout. Virender Sehwag was smiling happily after scoring eight runs, while Virat Kohli came back mighty pissed with himself after scoring a half century.

 

3. Zaheer Khan: Very satisfied with my contribution to help Afghanistan improve their batting. Post retirement, I hope to get a call as their batting coach.

 

 

4. Irfan Pathan: The whole of yesterday our hotel telephone operator connected me calls not meant for me. The callers kept congratulating on ‘our side’ putting up a great show against India! “Arrey, mein to sirf naam ka Pathan hoon, watan se Hindustani hoon. Pathan to who Afghani hai, mere bhai,” I had to keep saying that line, Allah jaane kitni baar.

 

5. Mohammad Shahzad (MSD fan, helicopter-shot exponent and Afghan opener):  I firmly believe that cricketing shots need more paunch than punch!

 

 

6. Tony Greig: The result would have been very different had BCCI agreed to DRS (Decision Review System). Shafiqullah would have won the game if not for that horrendous decision.

 

7. Leena Kapoor (Indian starlet/model): How did they allow an Indian umpire to officiate this game?  Oh, oh, oh… It means Asad Rauf has broken another promise he made to me, and not changed his nationality yet!

 

8. Harbhajan Singh: Sometimes the view from the other side is so much better. It would have been much prettier view from the dugout, but one guy in the middle spoilt it for me. Wish he was playing carom instead of cricket!

 

 

9. Kabir Khan (Afghan team coach): The boys finally understood that not everything dropping from the sky will explode!

 

10. Michael Vaughan: Blimey! Indians are smart. They have used Vaseline on the ball instead of their bats when they were batting! Unfair to blame the Afghan fielding.

 

(Vincent Sunder aspired to play Test cricket, but had to struggle to play ‘gully’ cricket! He managed a league side to title triumph in the KSCA tournaments. He was debarred from umpiring in the gully games after he once appealed vociferously for a caught-behind decision when officiating as an umpire! After two decades in the corporate sector, he became an entrepreneur with the objective of being able to see cricket matches on working days as well. Vincent gets his ‘high’ from cricket books and cricket videos and discussing cricket)

 

Points Table 

ICC Twenty20 World Cup 2012: Match time table with group details